I was outside hitting bongs with a couple of friends the other day when we started having a talk about inanimate objects, and what inanimate object we would be if we could be anything. I ended up thinking about possibly the best answer (because I was high, of course).
If I could be any inanimate object, I would be a stop sign for the three following reasons:
1) Everybody who came across me would be forced to respect me. Otherwise, the law would be out to get them.
2) I would never have a problem communicating with anyone, seeing as how the only message that I need to get across, "STOP", is written on me.
3) I've always wanted to see a car crash, but have never seen one. This would definitely be the best place to do so.
BOOM.
2.11.2009
2.04.2009
Parents. Life. School. Hate.
Up to today I was registered for four courses. These were BIOL 202, INTE 209, AHSC 220 and PSYC 310. I was informed by my advisor that BIOL 202 will not give me any credits, and I should instead drop it. The only catch was that the course had already been paid for via Internet and it is past the deadline for a refund. I am now under increasingly immense pressure from my parents to (somehow) get myself into another course, even though it is past the registration deadline and my father can't get that through his thick fucking neanderthal skull.
I spoke to a very nice (and, surprisingly, spanish-speaking!) advisor named Marie, who helped me out regarding what I was going to do with BIOL 202, and it turns out that there is a slight chance that I will be able to be (late) registered into PSYC 315. Hopefully all goes for the best.
This means that for now, I am enrolled in INTE 209 (which is an ONLINE course), AHSC 220 and PSYC 310, which is a course load of 9 credits (12 credits being full time). Each and every single time that I talk to my dad on the phone, he will yell at me for only being enrolled in "2 courses and that online shit", and for apparently being enrolled in only 6 credits (even though I am clearly enrolled in 9 credits, my parents continuously fail to recognize my online course as a course simply because it's online. It's as if the fact that the course was online made it any easier, or meant there was less studying to do). I end up feeling like I am a fucking failure and all I am doing with myself is nothing but disappointing my parents, who make it continuously clear what a sacrifice (financially) it is they are making, when I am ''not going anywhere.''
Yes. My dad straight-up told me today that I am "not going anywhere." Those words exactly. Who in their right fucking mind says that to their own kid? Even if it was true, I don't think I would have the heart to say that to one of my kids. Fuck him. And he also suggested the idea that it would be better if I was back home so I could work with him and help him with business instead of stay at university.
I'm not at all saying that my parents are completely wrong, and that I am angel and are doing everything right. Far from it, I know I' ve fucked up more than once and no one's fault but my own.
My problem is that, no matter how hard I try, whether in this situation or in any other, I cannot communicate with my parents in a way that will allow them to see things from my perspective, or perhaps be more understanding of something I may do.
I've lied to my parents pretty much throughout my entire life (a skill I've all but perfected) when it was needed, because I have been grounded for the smallest things I've done at times (like being grounded an entire day for not waking up on time). From my point of view, I feel that the fact that my parents resorted to grounding me whenever pretty much any (and I mean ANY) discpline was required led to me finding ways to avoid the punishment, instead of learning from it.
Let's look at it this way. If you have never been grounded in your entire life, and you finally get grounded for having done something serious, it is almost certain that you being grounded will be effective in learning your lesson and making sure that you never commit that error again. But if you are grounded constantly, several times a week sometimes, it's no longer going to have an effect, but rather become useless as you will not even care, or become resistant, if you will.
Another issue I have with my parents is the fact that they keep such close tabs on what I do (or have done, as this applies more to earlier adolescence) that it becomes hard to commit mistakes and learn from them. Then, when I am alone (in university), they yell at me and chew me up about how I am not responsible simply because I don't choose to be, because it's something I should have automatically picked up. Apparently parenting accounts for none of it, right?
I'm not saying my parents are bad parents, as I don't think that that is something you can generalize. But it is true that parenting performance differs depending on which stage the child is in. For example, parents may be very good with dealing with an infant's needs but not quite so good with dealing with the identity crises that most adolescents encounter at one time or another.
I've had the thought running through my mind that I would love to be completely separate from my parents in university, even if it meant working during university or in the summer in order to pay for my career. It's not that I want to leave my family, but I cannot deal with all the fucking stress that is placed on me by them, and I can't do shit all about it.
I guess this is all I have to cloud up this blog with for now.
If I could be nowhere right now and just disappera, I would.
I spoke to a very nice (and, surprisingly, spanish-speaking!) advisor named Marie, who helped me out regarding what I was going to do with BIOL 202, and it turns out that there is a slight chance that I will be able to be (late) registered into PSYC 315. Hopefully all goes for the best.
This means that for now, I am enrolled in INTE 209 (which is an ONLINE course), AHSC 220 and PSYC 310, which is a course load of 9 credits (12 credits being full time). Each and every single time that I talk to my dad on the phone, he will yell at me for only being enrolled in "2 courses and that online shit", and for apparently being enrolled in only 6 credits (even though I am clearly enrolled in 9 credits, my parents continuously fail to recognize my online course as a course simply because it's online. It's as if the fact that the course was online made it any easier, or meant there was less studying to do). I end up feeling like I am a fucking failure and all I am doing with myself is nothing but disappointing my parents, who make it continuously clear what a sacrifice (financially) it is they are making, when I am ''not going anywhere.''
Yes. My dad straight-up told me today that I am "not going anywhere." Those words exactly. Who in their right fucking mind says that to their own kid? Even if it was true, I don't think I would have the heart to say that to one of my kids. Fuck him. And he also suggested the idea that it would be better if I was back home so I could work with him and help him with business instead of stay at university.
I'm not at all saying that my parents are completely wrong, and that I am angel and are doing everything right. Far from it, I know I' ve fucked up more than once and no one's fault but my own.
My problem is that, no matter how hard I try, whether in this situation or in any other, I cannot communicate with my parents in a way that will allow them to see things from my perspective, or perhaps be more understanding of something I may do.
I've lied to my parents pretty much throughout my entire life (a skill I've all but perfected) when it was needed, because I have been grounded for the smallest things I've done at times (like being grounded an entire day for not waking up on time). From my point of view, I feel that the fact that my parents resorted to grounding me whenever pretty much any (and I mean ANY) discpline was required led to me finding ways to avoid the punishment, instead of learning from it.
Let's look at it this way. If you have never been grounded in your entire life, and you finally get grounded for having done something serious, it is almost certain that you being grounded will be effective in learning your lesson and making sure that you never commit that error again. But if you are grounded constantly, several times a week sometimes, it's no longer going to have an effect, but rather become useless as you will not even care, or become resistant, if you will.
Another issue I have with my parents is the fact that they keep such close tabs on what I do (or have done, as this applies more to earlier adolescence) that it becomes hard to commit mistakes and learn from them. Then, when I am alone (in university), they yell at me and chew me up about how I am not responsible simply because I don't choose to be, because it's something I should have automatically picked up. Apparently parenting accounts for none of it, right?
I'm not saying my parents are bad parents, as I don't think that that is something you can generalize. But it is true that parenting performance differs depending on which stage the child is in. For example, parents may be very good with dealing with an infant's needs but not quite so good with dealing with the identity crises that most adolescents encounter at one time or another.
I've had the thought running through my mind that I would love to be completely separate from my parents in university, even if it meant working during university or in the summer in order to pay for my career. It's not that I want to leave my family, but I cannot deal with all the fucking stress that is placed on me by them, and I can't do shit all about it.
I guess this is all I have to cloud up this blog with for now.
If I could be nowhere right now and just disappera, I would.
1.20.2009
New Semester
Yesterday was my school's deadline for selecting courses, and I am proud to say I am clueless. Ok. Not proud. But clueless nonetheless.
As of now, I am taking an online course, AHSC 220, BIOL 202, and PSYC 310, which is one of the two (the other is PSYC 315) courses that are prerequisites for pretty much every other course in psychology. PSYC 310 is Strategies of Inquiry, and deals with the ways that Research (specifically research in psychology) is conducted. Now, as much as the course material itself may be boring, it doesn't really bother me because I am still largely interested in psychology as a whole, and therefore have no problem studying out of the textbook and doing all of my readings since it is for a good cause.
My problem with this course is the proffessor. I dare you to go to www.ratemyprofessors.com and look up "dube concordia university", click on the first teacher that comes up, and tell me you wouldn't mind being in that class. On top of all the unbelievably bad reviews, the man has a heavy french accent which can make it hard to understand him. His absolutely favourite word is "echeddara". Or at least that is what he makes it sound like. He is actually saying etcetera, a word which I don't believe I use more than possibly once a week, and he uses it literally at the end of every sentence, to the point where it has become engraved in my mind and it stands out each and every time he says it. Making it possibly the single most annoying collection of syllables that has ever graced my ears.
As of now, I am taking an online course, AHSC 220, BIOL 202, and PSYC 310, which is one of the two (the other is PSYC 315) courses that are prerequisites for pretty much every other course in psychology. PSYC 310 is Strategies of Inquiry, and deals with the ways that Research (specifically research in psychology) is conducted. Now, as much as the course material itself may be boring, it doesn't really bother me because I am still largely interested in psychology as a whole, and therefore have no problem studying out of the textbook and doing all of my readings since it is for a good cause.
My problem with this course is the proffessor. I dare you to go to www.ratemyprofessors.com and look up "dube concordia university", click on the first teacher that comes up, and tell me you wouldn't mind being in that class. On top of all the unbelievably bad reviews, the man has a heavy french accent which can make it hard to understand him. His absolutely favourite word is "echeddara". Or at least that is what he makes it sound like. He is actually saying etcetera, a word which I don't believe I use more than possibly once a week, and he uses it literally at the end of every sentence, to the point where it has become engraved in my mind and it stands out each and every time he says it. Making it possibly the single most annoying collection of syllables that has ever graced my ears.
10.15.2008
FTV
A new project has begun. I am taking part in a five piece YouTube collaboration, with 4 former co-workers (Laura, Pat, Zach, Chelsea) from Cineplex Odeon in Aurora, Ontario.
You can find this project at www.youtube.com/friendsthatvlog
We already have three videos posted. That would be one from Zach, Pat and I. Guess we're still waiting on Chelsea and Laura. Except Zach pulled a big huge tool move and forgot to issue his challenge for the week OR pick a topic for the rest of us to talk about! Sheesh.
I guess that's all I have to say for now, I guess I'll attempt to update a bit more often, even though absolutely no one is following this.
You can find this project at www.youtube.com/friendsthatvlog
We already have three videos posted. That would be one from Zach, Pat and I. Guess we're still waiting on Chelsea and Laura. Except Zach pulled a big huge tool move and forgot to issue his challenge for the week OR pick a topic for the rest of us to talk about! Sheesh.
I guess that's all I have to say for now, I guess I'll attempt to update a bit more often, even though absolutely no one is following this.
9.30.2008
Of Course This Would Happen
"They say that what doesn't kill us makes us who we are."
Song: It Had To Be You
Artist: Motion City Soundtrack
One on my numerous flaws is my hopes and imagination. I usually blind myself with the best possible outcome of a situation, which naturally leads to disappointment when the 'shit hits the fan'.
What I am to referring to in specific is that when I like someone, I usually end up building it up in the back of my mind to the point where I believe that everything will go my way.
Which is quite far from the truth.
"You're the echoes of my everything,
You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night.
You're the laziness of afternoon,
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom.
You're the leaky sink of sentiment,
You're the failed attempts I never could forget.
You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call love.."
Song: Hold Me Down
Artist: Motion City Soundtrack
Song: It Had To Be You
Artist: Motion City Soundtrack
One on my numerous flaws is my hopes and imagination. I usually blind myself with the best possible outcome of a situation, which naturally leads to disappointment when the 'shit hits the fan'.
What I am to referring to in specific is that when I like someone, I usually end up building it up in the back of my mind to the point where I believe that everything will go my way.
Which is quite far from the truth.
"You're the echoes of my everything,
You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night.
You're the laziness of afternoon,
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom.
You're the leaky sink of sentiment,
You're the failed attempts I never could forget.
You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call love.."
Song: Hold Me Down
Artist: Motion City Soundtrack
I'm Just Sayin' How I Feel, Man
I use music as a way to express myself. I find it difficult for me to correctly express myself, and therefore music is my sort of gateway. I usually like songs whose lyrics I can connect to, and I always find excerpts from music that explain how I feel or act. For example:
"It's the only way I have learned to express myself; through other people's descriptions of life."
Song: L. G. Fuad (Let's Get Fucked Up And Die)
Artist: Motion City Soundtrack
This simple line explains me better than I could. It is also for this reason that I love Motion City Soundtrack so much. I've always been able to connect any situation I may be in to lyrics in at least one of their songs. It's beautiful, and no one can understand it. But seriously.. I have the words, drum beats and synth parts memorized to three MCS CDs. As well as having seen them three times live, of course (they are incredible live, do it if you get the chance).
I think that what I am going to be doing is listen to music while I write my posts, and throw in any quotes that I feel would be appropriate (perhaps not to what I am writing about, but what I am thinking about or feeling).
It would make me happy if at least one person followed this blog because they found what I have to say intersting, it would really make any writing that I post worthwhile, knowing that it at least interests someone, and my words are not lost. Run-on sentences for the win!
"It's the only way I have learned to express myself; through other people's descriptions of life."
Song: L. G. Fuad (Let's Get Fucked Up And Die)
Artist: Motion City Soundtrack
This simple line explains me better than I could. It is also for this reason that I love Motion City Soundtrack so much. I've always been able to connect any situation I may be in to lyrics in at least one of their songs. It's beautiful, and no one can understand it. But seriously.. I have the words, drum beats and synth parts memorized to three MCS CDs. As well as having seen them three times live, of course (they are incredible live, do it if you get the chance).
I think that what I am going to be doing is listen to music while I write my posts, and throw in any quotes that I feel would be appropriate (perhaps not to what I am writing about, but what I am thinking about or feeling).
It would make me happy if at least one person followed this blog because they found what I have to say intersting, it would really make any writing that I post worthwhile, knowing that it at least interests someone, and my words are not lost. Run-on sentences for the win!
9.29.2008
This is the beginning.
**THE FOLLOWING IS A BLURB ABOUT ME**
This is the beginning of something that is hopefully good. It is that that would be nice.
My name is Gonzalo, and I live in Montreal, Quebec. I am currently attending Concordia University, studying for a BSc in Psychology. I live in an apartment with one roommate who is studying for a Masters in Biology.
I have a video blog on youtube, which you should check out if you have some time! (http://www.youtube.com/Gonzebo) In this vlog, I try to entertain you, because that is what you want (right?). Sometimes I'm funny (or so I've been told), and sometimes I just talk about whatever flies on through my head.
I usually have a lot to say which I don't feel would be adequately expressed in a video, because it is tons better to be able to sit here and think about exactly what I wanna be saying, and being able to convey my point that much more easily. Also, I think it is very hard to explain what I see or feel, because everybody's perspective on EVERYTHING is subjective. Therefore, it's something that I really can't see myself talking about because I feel it's not something that can be debated. Does any of this make sense?
Most of the posts in this blog are probably going to be about music, because I absolutely love music. I love playing music(played the flute for 8 years, as well as sing), I love hearing music, and sometimes I even love trying to write music.
This is the beginning of something that is hopefully good. It is that that would be nice.
My name is Gonzalo, and I live in Montreal, Quebec. I am currently attending Concordia University, studying for a BSc in Psychology. I live in an apartment with one roommate who is studying for a Masters in Biology.
I have a video blog on youtube, which you should check out if you have some time! (http://www.youtube.com/Gonzebo) In this vlog, I try to entertain you, because that is what you want (right?). Sometimes I'm funny (or so I've been told), and sometimes I just talk about whatever flies on through my head.
I usually have a lot to say which I don't feel would be adequately expressed in a video, because it is tons better to be able to sit here and think about exactly what I wanna be saying, and being able to convey my point that much more easily. Also, I think it is very hard to explain what I see or feel, because everybody's perspective on EVERYTHING is subjective. Therefore, it's something that I really can't see myself talking about because I feel it's not something that can be debated. Does any of this make sense?
Most of the posts in this blog are probably going to be about music, because I absolutely love music. I love playing music(played the flute for 8 years, as well as sing), I love hearing music, and sometimes I even love trying to write music.
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